Neptune Coffee Part 1

"I hate feeling like I can't feel--
Or rather, feeling like if I do I will cry until I pass out.
It's like a temporary, protective numbness--
But I feel it wearing off.
It's perpetuated by busyness--
And situations requiring dishonest smiles.
It allows me to sleep at night
Without racing thoughts and too real of nightmares.
But again...
I feel it fading.
I guess this stage that is passing is what they call denial.
But I haven't denied the facts.
I have denied the feelings.
And they're demanding to be heard.
They're refusing to be submissive.
I'm usually all about equality, equal rights, freedom of speech, etc...
But I both repress and oppress my emotions--
As if they aren't worthy to be heard.
As if they're not valid to feel.
I think the next stage is what they call anger...
I guess it's time I got angry."

~Anne-Marie 8/29/07